Undiscovered Feelings
of Premature Babies
by Robina Hearle
My sister and I were both premature babies.
At the time of writing, I am 46 and she is 53.
The feelings we experienced at that time have
recently surfaced for both of us. We now realise
that the feelings that we experienced then have
coloured our lives.
Recently I connected to a devastating and deep
feeling of sadness; it was like a black hole
of emotion. This has occurred twice whilst I
have been at a Reiki Share. As I Talked about
the feeling, I remembered the story of my birth.
I had been born early one morning at home, seven
weeks prematurely. It was in the 1950's in a
small Suffolk village. The local G.P. came and
convinced I would not survive, wrapped me in
a blanket and put me on the front seat of his
sports car to take me to the Ipswich Hospital.
There I was put straight into an incubator.
My father rang the hospital the next day to
see how I was. The Ward Sister said she wanted
me named because it was still thought I would
die. Mother, recovering from the birth, was
of course not able to visit the hospital straight
away. As I recalled this story, my heart began
to race and tears came to my eyes, I realised
I had identified the cause of the feeling. This
has since happened again, and as I talked the
emotion surfaced once more.
As a young child, this deep emotion surfaced
several times and I remember crying myself to
sleep in this deep misery, never knowing from
where it came. So, at last I have the opportunity
to clear this emotional baggage. For my sister,
she has a deep feeling of being sad and alone
and not wanting to be so.
'Sue's story: Throughout my life I have always
got fed up, down or depressed on or around my
birthday in early September. It has often lasted
from a few days to two months (longer if it
was connected to a life changing trigger). The
onset always seemed to be September no matter
what avoidance tactics I tried to use. For many
years I had thought (without any evidence) that
this could be linked to being born prematurely
in September and being in an incubator for two
months.
It wasn’t until I did Reiki that I realised
this could indeed be the case. After a course
of Metamorphic Technique about three years ago,
I have never been depressed at that time again.
Recently, however, another aspect of this came
up following a family emergency. As I dealt
with it (alone initially), I was overwhelmed
with waves of deep sadness, fear and unbearable
feelings of being absolutely and totally alone
and unable to cope. As I discussed this with
my sister later, I was suddenly able to see
the pattern. I thought about all the other life
changing events in my life when I had felt these
emotions. When would I have had my first experience
of being/feeling totally alone, isolated, full
of fear, with intense sadness? Answer, when
I was born two months prematurely, taken from
my mother and put in an incubator for two months!’
Robina continues: Imagine it: you spend 8-9
months inside your mother, hearing her heartbeat
and her voice etc. Then you are parted abruptly
and put into an incubator. You experience deep
feelings [probably of loss, anger, sadness and
fear) and you are helpless to do anything about
it. So the first stage of your emotional pattern
is set and this setting of emotional patterns
carries on for six years. This pattern is what
you repeat throughout your lifetime until you
clear it (or not). Your life experiences are
geared around these first six years of life.
I was talking to another member of the Reiki
share one day. She said that her son had been
premature and found that he could not hug her.
My sister and I also share this experience.
We found it very difficult to hug our mother
or have her hug us. The bonding seemed not to
be there on her side and certainly wasn’t
on ours. In fact a part of me felt unloved.
There are many premature babies out there and
mothers who perhaps for some reason or another
were not able to spend time with the baby in
the incubator. I desire to highlight that this
scenario causes emotional pain on both sides,
and I hope this article brings it to the fore
to be noticed.
My sister and I are lucky in that we are both
Reiki Masters and use flower essences to reveal
our emotional pains that have been hidden away,
and can heal ourselves. Many others not so aware
will go a lifetime and not discover these feelings
or understand the impact they have on their
emotional lives.
Robina Hearle
www.rosecottagefloweressences.co.uk
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