In the Womb
by Astrid Grove
When my blood came today, I felt sadness...the kind of grief that only women feel. The inexplicable, deeper than deep pain of menstruation.
I am not speaking here of cramps, being bloated, or back ache....no, that is not it. It's the grieving.
I am not trying to conceive, so this grief is not aligned with the greater purpose of that deep desire to bring forth life.
I am not near to menopause so it is not the feeling of being disappointedthat my blood has shown up yet one more time.
This grief is of an origin so great that it's explanation falls through my fingers like water... I cannot hold onto it's meaning. 
I let myself sink into the feeling...I let myself be immersed in the murky muddy intensity of it as my womb pulls and tugs, and my blood drips from my yoni onto the earth.
The tears, they then flow, dripping, my nose is dripping my womb is dripping...I am connected to the waters...all waters, ocean waters, rivers, springs, lakes, ponds, tears, blood, amniotic fluid, cervical fluid, semen, rain. I am she and she is me.
As I release the floods, the storms of emotion rive through me; they shake me and I roar like thunder.
I bear witness to the transformation...and as I emerge from the storm, I understand. I experience clarity. I am she and she is me. I am not separate from the earth. There is no separation between me and the moon, the earth, the waters... between me and all beings.
I cry for everyone. I grieve for everyone. I am a vehicle, I am a cauldron. I transform this pain as I open to it and I receive it as insight, intuition, and wisdom.
My blood is my teacher, and in turn my blood nourishes the earth...as she nourishes me and the cycle is complete.
Astrid Grove is a community midwife, a wise woman herbalist, and a practitioner of Maya Abdominal Massage.
Her passion lies in creating sacred space for women to honor and explore life cycles. She travels extensively sharing the women's mysteries teachings and can be contacted at theredtemple@gmail.com to set up a workshop in your home community.
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