Undiscovered Feelings of Premature Babies
by Robina Hearle
sister and I were both premature babies. At the time of writing,
I am 46 and she is 53. The feelings we experienced at that
time have recently surfaced for both of us. We now realise
that the feelings that we experienced then have coloured our
Recently I connected to a devastating and deep feeling of
sadness; it was like a black hole of emotion. This has occurred
twice whilst I have been at a Reiki Share. As I Talked about
the feeling, I remembered the story of my birth. I had been
born early one morning at home, seven weeks prematurely. It
was in the 1950's in a small Suffolk village.
The local G.P. came and convinced I would not survive, wrapped
me in a blanket and put me on the front seat of his sports
car to take me to the Ipswich Hospital. There I was put straight
into an incubator.
My father rang the hospital the next day to see how I was.
The Ward Sister said she wanted me named because it was still
thought I would die. Mother, recovering from the birth, was
of course not able to visit the hospital straight away. As
I recalled this story, my heart began to race and tears came
to my eyes, I realised I had identified the cause of the feeling.
This has since happened again, and as I talked the emotion
surfaced once more.
As a young child, this deep emotion surfaced several times
and I remember crying myself to sleep in this deep misery,
never knowing from where it came. So, at last I have the opportunity
to clear this emotional baggage. For my sister, she has a
deep feeling of being sad and alone and not wanting to be
'Sue's story: Throughout my life I have always got fed up,
down or depressed on or around my birthday in early September.
It has often lasted from a few days to two months (longer
if it was connected to a life changing trigger). The onset
always seemed to be September no matter what avoidance tactics
I tried to use. For many years I had thought (without any
evidence) that this could be linked to being born prematurely
in September and being in an incubator for two months.
It wasn’t until I did Reiki that I realised this could
indeed be the case. After a course of Metamorphic Technique
about three years ago, I have never been depressed at that
however, another aspect of this came up following a family
emergency. As I dealt with it (alone initially), I was overwhelmed
with waves of deep sadness, fear and unbearable feelings of
being absolutely and totally alone and unable to cope. As
I discussed this with my sister later, I was suddenly able
to see the pattern. I thought about all the other life changing
events in my life when I had felt these emotions.
When would I have had my first experience of being/feeling
totally alone, isolated, full of fear, with intense sadness?
Answer, when I was born two months prematurely, taken from
my mother and put in an incubator for two months!’
Robina continues: Imagine it: you spend 8-9 months inside
your mother, hearing her heartbeat and her voice etc. Then
you are parted abruptly and put into an incubator. You experience
deep feelings [probably of loss, anger, sadness and fear)
and you are helpless to do anything about it.
So the first stage of your emotional pattern is set and this
setting of emotional patterns carries on for six years. This
pattern is what you repeat throughout your lifetime until
you clear it (or not). Your life experiences are geared around
these first six years of life.
I was talking to another member of the Reiki share one day.
She said that her son had been premature and found that he
could not hug her. My sister and I also share this experience.
We found it very difficult to hug our mother or have her hug
us. The bonding seemed not to be there on her side and certainly
wasn’t on ours. In fact a part of me felt unloved.
There are many premature babies out there and mothers who
perhaps for some reason or another were not able to spend
time with the baby in the incubator. I desire to highlight
that this scenario causes emotional pain on both sides, and
I hope this article brings it to the fore to be noticed.
My sister and I are lucky in that we are both Reiki Masters
and use flower essences to reveal our emotional pains that
have been hidden away, and can heal ourselves. Many others
not so aware will go a lifetime and not discover these feelings
or understand the impact they have on their emotional lives.
Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year
by Susun S. Weed
Foreword by Jeannine Parvati Baker.
192 pages, index, lovely illustrations.
Now in its 24th printing. A confirmed favorite with pregnant women, midwives, childbirth educators, and new parents. Packed with clear, comforting, and superbly helpful information.
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