Take responsibility for yourself,
don’t expect someone else to do it for you.
by Sue Stothard
The content of this article has been prompted by a series of conversations that my sister and myself have had with very sincere people we have met during our journey.These are intelligent people who have missed the point by not understanding that they have to do work on themselves in order to move on. The people tend to fall into three main categories.
The first are the many people who believe they have taken responsibility for their own health and well-being by making the change from allopathic medicine to alternative therapies. Many of these may then become therapist dependant because they expect the therapist to come up with all the answers and take on the responsibility for their progress physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually without realizing that they themselves have to do the work. So all they have really done is change the name of the person they have designated as being responsible for their well being.
The second category is intelligent, thoughtful people who are seriously involved in their health and particularly their spiritual progress. They visit therapist after therapist looking for the magic words or the magic therapy which will heal them without any noticeable participation on their part. Seeking such a solution they are likely to become interested in any ‘new’ process which they believe will enable them to magically be healed and/or moved on spiritually. Such processes may include the saying of certain words, numbers or phrases, drawing shapes in the air-or a combination of all of these things.
It may be that they do in fact feel better after some of these things have taken place. However, because they have not addressed the root causes of their problems, any feeling of well being will be short lived. These same people may also go to workshop after workshop believing that the facilitator has caused them to clear lots of their issues because they have benefited from the energy there. It may be that by using the energy of fellow participants a very good facilitator is able to get this to occur in part too.
Many people may mistakenly believe that they have healed themselves and moved on spiritually because they have read all of the books, been to all of the workshops and embraced every new idea. They then look at themselves and wonder where to go next because they are still not healed and are still striving to be spiritual and become enlightened!
I am not here to denigrate the work of people who run workshops or do anything to help other people. This is about the ideology and thoughts of many of the people who participate. It is true that many workshops are informative and invaluable in the spreading of new thought and ideas. However, some are just that - words which will have little lasting effect unless some healing takes place too. My sister and I ran Inner Child workshops for a time in which we taught people, and then reconnected them to their inner child whilst also using our energy to enable some inner child issues to surface to be healed and released.
The third category of people is the ones who are already therapists. They will have learned a great deal and are very good at what they do. Many of these people become so involved in helping others that they forget two important things. First, that many if not most therapists are drawn to a particular therapy not only because it resonates with them, but also because they themselves also need healing.
Secondly, they become so involved in helping others that they either forget that they themselves also need to do the work in order to heal and move on or they may mistakenly believe that because of the work they do they are somehow immune! Worse still for their development, they may not be open to ideas which lead to spiritual expansion or healing because they may mistakenly think they have all the answers already, not realizing that learning, evolving and spiritually progressing never stop.
Well, I am here to tell you - it just isn’t that easy folks!
Taking responsibility for yourself may indeed mean that you engage a therapist who will give you pointers and guidance to enable you to uncover, clear and heal the layers of unresolved issues which lead to great emotional and physical pain resulting in illness in some form. However, the difference that I am trying to show you here is that the therapist is only an enabler and cannot do it for you!
Just talking about things and revisiting painful episodes in your life may not release enough for the healing to take place either. You have to learn how to identify and release the emotions surrounding the painful events in your life for yourself. You have to own up to every thought and feeling involved in any painful episode and event however big or seemingly small, feel the emotion for a few short moments and then allow it to move up through the heart and eventually out through the crown chakra. Of course you will need help and support to do this and of course you will need to be taught how to do this.
This is where the true role of a good therapist comes in. A good therapist not only facilitates healing but also empowers people by showing them how to help themselves whilst offering encouragement and support. A good therapist does not encourage people to become dependent on him or her (because it is financially rewarding or because it makes them feel they are needed). A good therapist knows when to step back and let you fly by yourself!
Working on yourself as described above is only the beginning of your healing .It can be a time consuming and sometimes painful job. However, you have to decide if you wish to stay where you are, stuck and in pain, or if you wish to move on into your future without the pain. Only you can decide. Remember you owe it to yourself to honour and value yourself enough to take the necessary steps to own up to what your issues and baggage are. Then from there to take the steps to really do something about it yourself without expecting someone else to do it for you because you haven’t got time or you think it doesn’t matter. This is really taking responsibility for yourself!
Remember though, that all those issues and pain do not go away just because you choose not to address them. They cannot be ignored forever and will cause you to ‘run into that brick wall’ sooner or later and when you do you will not be able to help anyone, least of all yourself!
Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year
by Susun S. Weed
Foreword by Jeannine Parvati Baker.
192 pages, index, lovely illustrations.
Now in its 24th printing. A confirmed favorite with pregnant women, midwives, childbirth educators, and new parents. Packed with clear, comforting, and superbly helpful information.
Retails for $14.95
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